He's not a bad kid. He's looking for a map.
Let me say the reassuring thing first: a boy who parrots Andrew Tate isn't a bad kid, and his parents haven't failed. He's a kid looking for a map of what it means to be a man, and right now, the loudest, slickest map is the one being handed to him online.
That's the part we miss. The Manosphere isn't winning because boys are drawn to cruelty.
It's winning because it offers belonging, certainty, a sense of purpose and a clear story about masculinity, and it gets there first, before the adults in his life have offered anything as compelling.
Which means shaming masculinity is exactly the wrong move. Tell a boy that being a man is the problem and you hand him straight to the people who'll tell him he's under attack.
The answer is to offer a fuller, healthier version of strength — one that still includes courage, protection and drive, but adds kindness, responsibility and the strength to feel things.
You don't argue a boy out of the Manosphere. You show him something more compelling.
And the people best placed to do that are the real men already in his life, the most important role models in his life.
Here are some thoughts from experts that I admire:
Steve Biddulph describes boys being pulled online as chasing belonging and purpose
Justin Coulson reframes healthy masculinity as being a bonus, not a burden: adding value and making others feel safer, rather than excusing harm with "boys will be boys."
And Steve also insists masculinity can be redefined with hope and humour rather than blame.
In my experience, having honest conversations with genuine curiosity shows that you care about what he thinks and role models a willingness to explore what it means to be a man, which is way more compelling than being told what to be.
We need to provide the map so our boys don't get lost.